So I killed the boar…I totally did. Little lord fancy pants insisted on eating it with us. I don’t know why. He didn’t really do anything.
Food was good. Little lord fancy pants was too friendly. Thinks he has a chance. ha!
The next day was boring. The pirate runs all over town to ask people questions. He is nosy and I don’t have anything better to do while I wait for Shalelu. There’s a bunch of talking about the priest missing bones and his adopted daughter and a baby and it just goes on for ever. It’s so boring. This place blows.
I miss the forest. There are too many people here.
We’re supposed to meet up with like the fortune teller next. Silly gaw bones wants to take piehole with us. But he takes off with some redheaded tart who is lying to him about rats in the basement. Eventually he comes running back with a crazy tale about how the girl came on to him and he got in a fight with her dad and so on. It’s pretty funny.
We spend the afternoon mocking piehole.
We’re off to do something else and this lady comes and drags us into her house with the story of how her kid or dog thought there was something in the closet and her husband thought there wasn’t. And he went to prove the dog or kid wrong and there was a goblin chewin on the kid. I barge into the room to save him, but it’s way too late. The goblin had chewed up the husband and started dragging him down a hole in the floor of the closet. So I go to kill it but the rest of the party crowds around and keeps getting in my way.
I get pretty injured and that silly gaw bones heals me up. But he won’t take his hand off my ass. I received a little luck from the monkey boy. But piehole killed him before I could get another swipe in. Dammit.
The sheriff arrives too late as always and takes over the keening widow and whatnot. Best not left to me. He has good news, though, that Shalelu is in town. It’s about time! I head to the garrison to see her.
Oh but she is talky bitch. She’s giving us a goblin lecture.
And then they want us to stay in the flipping town for weeks defending it. I demand Shalelu’s attention and she agrees as she should to take me out with her scouting next time. I’m pretty sure she’s heard of me and has great expectations for me.
I escort silly gaw bones and piehole to the fortune teller because there’s nothing else to do. Can’t believe people pay good money for this bullshit. Silly gaw bones explains to the crone about how piehole was all touching the missing bones and maybe he’s cursed or something.
Silly gaw bones asks a bunch of boring questions. Why is he going on about those bones? This is the worst.